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The hot and humid summer heat we've gotten here in NYC has kept me indoors for the most part. Now that the weather is cooling up a bit (a frigid 85º), I've been out 'n about, enjoying what's left of my vacation.
I hate being indoors, but I can see how being a literal hermit has its advantages - you aren't exposed to the jerks of our world. And believe me, they're everywhere. Here are some ways on how you can be one of them (just in case you're interested...)
Swiping a parking spot from someone else: You see the car ahead
of you has their signals on, but you can clearly take the spot - and you
do. You either spend way too much time arguing about it with the other
driver or you walk off feeling like the king of the world. Well, you
are the king - of jerks! Keep this in mind the next time you try to
steal a parking spot: that other driver not only knows where you parked, but quite possibly the make/model of your car and your license plate number.
Nothing is worse that car-ma, my friend. Plus, people can be crazy. I mean. Really crazy.
Being late - especially at the movies: Lateness is as absolute pet peeve of mine. Nothing turns me into the Incredible Hulk faster. But latecomers at the movies (or any scheduled event, for that matter) are really inexcusable. First of all, you knew what time the movie started and you were late anyway. Now, you're: 1) blocking my view because you need to find a seat in a pitch-dark theater 2) chewing your annoyingly crunchy popcorn and 3) opening your loud candy packaging. Plus, you're talking about how funny it is that you're tripping over people who cared enough to be on time. Oh and did you know that there's a butt and/or crotch parade in my face? Ta-da! You're an official jerk.
Jaywalking: I'll admit, I was a jaywalker before I became an avid driver. Now that I drive more often than not, I see how jaywalking is the worst decision a pedestrian can make. Why? Hmmmm...how's about...DEATH?!? Why would you jaywalk when the crosswalk is a mere 2 feet in front of you? Most jaywalkers don't even look - they just walk/run/walk-run across the busiest streets known to man as though they're made of steel and can't be hurt by a moving vehicle. Newsflash: You may not be made of steel...but you certainly are a jerk!
Not obeying traffic laws/street signs: In the similar tune of jaywalking - what is it with some drivers...and bicyclists?? I can't tell you how many times I've seen someone in a car or bike arrogantly sail through a red light like it's nobody's business. Guess what - unless your mode of transportation has some sort of invisible forcefield, you're putting yourself (and others) in danger. Ditto for not using your signal and wearing all black at night while on a bike. Take a sec and turn around - this shaking middle finger is all yours, you jerk!
Talking over someone in a conversation/Changing the subject: Someone is talking about drama at work and is obviously very upset. They need to vent to you and/or a group of friends. Somewhere in between "That crazy b*tch!" and "Eff that!" you decide to loudly chime in - about the latest political scandal - or worse - your wonderful colleagues and how lucky you are to have the best boss ever. Do yourself a favor: Look in the mirror and tell that story - because you should spend time with like-minded jerks like yourself.
Not leaving your waiter a tip: Yes, the waiter smirked a little when he/she took your order. Yes, you didn't know tonight's specials. Yes, you waited almost 30 minutes for your food. All justifiable reasons to be miffed. But does that mean you shouldn't leave a tip at the end of a meal that you fully consumed? Pause for a second: Imagine what a waiter goes through on daily basis - working for less than desirable wage, while maintaining a perfect smile throughout your complicated burger order. Oh, and having an amazing memory to boot after barely making it through a 12-hour shift. Remember that for the most part, waiters do not control the kitchen staff and vice versa. I wholeheartedly agree that there are some reasons when you shouldn't - maybe your waiter told a racist joke that went too far or yelled at your kid (perhaps while being racist). Unless your reasons are super extreme, I think not leaving a tip is a jerk move. (P.S. - I wouldn't show up to this restaurant again if I were you...just sayin'...)
Cutting in line/Pushing: Whether at a crowded store, the long line to merge off/onto a highway exit, or getting a seat on the subway, cutting in line and/or pushing is simply saying, "My needs are more important than yours." Oh yeah, and, "I'm a complete and utter jerk."
I'm sure tons more can be added here...
Now, I'm definitely not perfect, but I do think a little consideration goes a long, long way. You may want to try it next time you're contemplating entering the realm of jerkdom.
Now, I'm definitely not perfect, but I do think a little consideration goes a long, long way. You may want to try it next time you're contemplating entering the realm of jerkdom.
