"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves." - Shakespeare
For as long as I can remember, I've been a huge believer of fate. I'd sit back and let the world decide what's best for me, in every sense of the word.
The thing is, I always saw the world as a great caretaker. After all, I have the best family, good friends, my health, and a job that I love. I truly believed that it was fate that lead me to the schools I've attended, the jobs I've held and the people that are currently in my life. In turn, I also believed that it was fate that caused me to choose one major over the other, to leave one career to start another, and made people come and go over the last thirty-one years.
Now I've come to realize that maybe it wasn't fate - it's the choices I've made. Wasn't it me that chose to stay home and not attend an out-of-state college? To pursue teaching? To maintain or let go of certain relationships?
Upon this realization, I wonder if this makes me less of an optimist. Less of a romantic. Less of a believer of something beyond myself. I wonder if this waiting around of something to just happen caused me to lose the last decade or so of my life. I often find myself complaining that nothing has really changed since I was a child. Not my environment, the people in my life, or the person that I am. It's not that these are all necessarily bad, but I do think that change is necessary to grow - to finally become an adult. To realize that life is more about learning to make decisions rather than depending on something - or someone else - to make you happy.
The truth of the matter is, I think I'll always be an eternal optimist, a romantic, and a firm believer that something or someone up there is in control of the world around me, in some way or another. The problem is the waiting around part. The wondering. The simply not doing.
Maybe it's finding a balance between the two. We're given opportunities, and it's ours for the taking...or not. We're given challenges, and we can either run from them, or face them head on. I think I'll choose the latter.
